when lighting a unity candle?
barrett_s22 posted:
if we have music playing and then after that support is switched on in there and look at each other eyes until the song has ended, or what we should do.please I need help.
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I have seen couples do what you described or you could walk back down to your places in front of the minister.
Light the candle look at each other and say to each other how you feel at that moment then proceed with the ceremony.
The lighting of the unity candle is a relatively recent addition to the traditional Protestant wedding ceremony. It symbolizes the union of two individuals becoming one in commitment. At a certain point in the ceremony (typically between the exchange of vows and the formal declaration of marriage), the bride and groom light a candle together.
The unity candle ceremony uses two taper candles and a large pillar candle (the unity candle). At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, the mothers of the bride and groom light the two taper candles. Later in the ceremony, the bride and groom will take the two candles and light the large pillar candle together. They may blow out their individual candles or leave them lit beside the central candle, symbolizing that the participants in the marriage have not lost their individuality. Often the unity candle is decorated with the invitation, an inscription, a picture of the couple, or some other ornamentation. Unity candles are often white. The lighting ceremony may be accompanied by a special musical number
I don’t remember music being played at other weddings when that’s done..it only takes a moment, really. Unless you’re going to have soft background music playing through the service..
The officiant will be able to tell you what to do after.
when i got married, we had someone sing a song while we lit the unity candle, but it was kind of awkward standing there until the song was over
also we didn’t know if we should blow out the candles that we used to light it, so we didn’t
Having attended many weddings I would suggest the following:
Have music play while you light candle and then let it play about 45 secs while you hold hands and look at each other. Any longer than that and it gets kind of awkward. However, if you have a live soloist or duet, then let them sing the entire song while you watch them sing. With live music it does not seem as awkward.
Traditionally the music is during the unity candle lighting and continues to play after the candle is lit until the bride and groom return to their places. I have seen many weddings where the mother of each lights the taper candles and the bride and groom use those to light the unity candle. This way if you have a longer song you want to play, it will have time to finish, otherwise choose a shorter song or find an appropriate place where it can be stopped.
At many weddings that I have attended, the bride and groom light the unity candle to a special song or someone singing. The problem with this is that they are left up there staring at each other until the song finishes, because lighting a candle doesn’t take 4 minutes.
I chose a 1 1/2 minute song to be played on the piano while my fiance and I light our unity candle. I don’t want to be up there looking awkward for any longer than I have to!
We had our nephew and his friend sing a song while lighting the candle. We were supposed to go back in front of the preacher for the rest of the song, however we couldn’t get the darned thing lit! Our photographer ended up grabbing a lighter and helped us light it. It actually was very funny, but my advice (whether you have music or not) is to light the candle first and let it burn for a couple minutes before the ceremony so that it definitely lights when the time comes!
I have known couples who have music playing. They lit the candle, then looked at it for a while, then returned to their places before the pastor and prayed quietly together. That way, there isn’t awkwardness, because then the congregation’s attention shifts to the singer and musicians as they finish the song.
Picking a shorter song isn’t a bad idea though…if you’re concerned about the awkwardness.
And I personally like leaving all three candles lit once the unity candle is lit.
I would definitely choose a song that is shorter for this moment.
When I have done weddings in the past, I have coordinated the piano/music to start, the bride and the groom to walk over (after the music starts), light the candle, and walk back during the song. That seems to take up quite a bit of time and you are not left standing there for so long.
Also, if you are using a piano player, they should easily be able to play during the song and end it appropriately—and not just play to be playing.
Be sure to blow your individual candles out, this is a symbol of coming together as one–just make sure you turn away from each other and don’t blow smoke in each others face.
Good Luck!!
be careful about playing music, the only reason i suggest this, we had a song (titanic love theme song, which is close to 10 mins long) play while we signed the registry which takes two seconds, our minister suggested this pick. okay, it was back in 98′, our minister made us stay till the end of the song, didn’t want the music to suddenly stop. our guests were rolling their eyes and yawning by the end. maybe choose a very quick instrumental if you are going to chose music, if not you would be fine without.
What ever you decide to do, please light it for a minute or two before hand.
My sister did not and they couldn’t get it to stay lit during the wedding. Kind of an awkward moment, but they just giggled and went on with the rest of the ceremony. It broke the stress of the moment, but not everyone would see it that way.